The Oolongoola
The Oolongoola
The Oolongoola is a musical instrument build by the Goblins of Spoon. Legend has it that it was named after the noise it makes. It wasn't. The name came first and the builders spent many years trying to make a machine that could replicate it.
The Oolongoolator
The Oolongoolator is a goblin of extraordinary power and privilege - they are responsible for the care, maintenance & performance of the Oolongoola - and most crucially for taking the blame. The current Oolongoolator is JeyJ A Spline
The Oolongoola hangar
This is the enormous shed where the Oolongoola is kept. It also provides accommodation for the goblins who operate the Oolongoola. JeyJ A Spline has his own bedroom out the back, all the others sleep in a heap in the corner.
The Order of Montyzooma
Order of Monty Zooma
The Secret Sullen Order of The Monty Zooma is a company of goblin wizz-uds that closely guard a terrible and fantastical secret.
The Tower
All the goblins in the order live together in a tall, rickety tower on top of a hill in Greenland. There are many, many rumours about what else lives in the tower. The tower is almost as secret as the order itself but legend has it that there are several really strange and mystical rooms in it.
Infamous Rooms
These include the Hat Room, both Shoe Rooms. the Laundry Room (a thoroughly mysterious place the Goblins seldom visit, unless they need to feed the mangle) and most amazing of all The Other Room. Nobody really knows how big The Other Room is, or what's inside it. More goblins have gone into the room than have come out again. Those that have not returned are honoured as heroes in song and story.
The Greenland Knowitalarium
What's a Knowitalarium?
This is the place where the Goblins of Spoon keep all their knowledge stored in all sorts of different ways including jars, yarns, butterflies, worrying stains and the much mythologised Cloud Storage.
Isn't that a Library?
There are two reasons why a Knowitalarium is different from a library.
1. The Knowitalarium doesn't have any books. Goblins believe that if you write things down then you might as well forget them.
2. Why would believe anything that you found in a place called a 'lie-berry' ?
What does the head Knowitall do?
The Head Knowitall is in charge of all the thinking in Greenland. It is their job to keep all the knowledge safe and to make sure that it doesn't leak out or escape. The current Head Knowitall is Knickabocka Smah!Tpantz Esq
The Cloud Storage
What are the ducks for?
According to one of the builders of the Cloud Storage, well-known Goblin engineer Barrelchest Bandi-legs, the ducks are essential components that provide the necessary frictional, rotational torque to power the storage main-frame. It is possible that Barrelchest doesn't actually know what any of these words mean, but it seems to work...
Why is the elephant on rollerskates?
Barrelchest said this: 'It is vital that the elephant remains on rollerskates as this most efficent method to ensure that it remains on the ouroboric annulus track that controls the cognition coefficent and maintains the appropriate tension of the dingling wire thingy.' It is possible that Barrelchest knows what this all means, but he may be the only one.
How did the penguin learn to skateboard?
Apparently, nobody knows.
El Twango
El Twango
Essentially just a very large slingshot. The goblins don't use it to sling shot so much as sling themselves - so it should probably be called a 'sling goblin'. Goblins can't see the point at throwing things at the enemy that may or may not hit them when instead you could simply throw a whole goblin at them, which will definitely hit them - almost certainly bite them and quite possible scurry up their trouser leg.
The Legend of 'El Twango'
Probably one of the proudest creations of goblinkind. El Twango is contructed from the braces (suspenders) and underpants elastic of an utterly unfortunate patrol of Royal Albion guardsmen, who found themselves lost and were forced to take shelter. Unaware they had wandered over the Greenland border, they were astonished to find all their elastic had vanished. They were forced to walk home with their hands in their pockets.
The Mighty War Spoon
The Mighty War Spoon
A highly effective tool of the Greenland army. Can be used for throwing also sorts of things at the enemy: rocks, flaming hay bales, mammoth dung, rancid old socks, rotten cabbage, disgruntled squirrels and of course Artillery goblins.
The King's Own Greenland Goblin Artillery Brigade.
An infamous military unit, the Goblin Artillery Brigade are not - as you may assume - highly skilled in ballistics or operating catapults. They are the ammunition.
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